Someday....

So far, I feel really good with my life. I think, somehow I might have found some semblance of peace within myself. It has been something that has been missing for a whole lot of years. I think it might be a combination of finding a job I'm satisfied with, being secure in my relationship, a new baby on the way, renewing old friendships, and saying goodbye to a horrible decade. I haven't figured everything out yet that I want to. I still have many questions about myself, the way things are, what happens next, as well as questions about my beliefs about faith and religion. I have really tried to work on myself, and to be a better person and to control my anger and feelings. Something which really affected me, was a point made by my partner, the Lovely C. Our 3 year anniversary is tomorrow and she said she loved me more now than she did 3 years ago, mainly for the fact for how much I have been trying to change and grow. I'm still very much on the journey of trying to figure out who I am, but I think I might be one step closer to an answer, maybe someday....

Red Carpet Here I Come.....

Ooohhhhh!!!! I have so many people to thank. First I want to thank G..sorry, not going there. I have have been awarded my first award from my long-time friend Sandy of "Getting fit and Loving It"

So, the rules of the award are

1. List 10 things that make you happy.

2. List 10 bloggers that brighten your day.

Ok, so here goes
10 Things That Make Me Happy

Waking up in the morning
Cara
A phone call from my daughter
Little Man
Being employed
Having a home
Great music
Great books
Loving friends
Blogging Buddies

Now for 10 Bloggers
The thoughts and prose of a Synchronistic Catalyst
Pregnant at 36--Surprise (Both written by my incredible partner, Cara-Mae)
Melanie's Randomness
I Know, Right?
Life In Quotations
Getting Fit and Loving It
They're Canadian, Eh! (shameless plug for my other blog, but it makes me happy)
A Life Apart
Language Is Wine Upon the Lips
Introspective Versification

These are the blogs I check out the most to cheer me up. Hope you enjoy them too!!

Stuff about Me...

I've totally stolen this from my pal Barry's blog "Life in Quotations". Only because I can't think of anything original right now, but I'm sure my mental block will soon pass. So without any further ado, here are 35 Q & A's.

1. Where is your cell phone? Beside my wallet

2. Your hair? Messy, in need of a hair cut.

3. Your mother? A fighter and survivor

4. Your father? Caring (despite what other family members think)

5. Your favorite food? Steak

6. Your dream last night? Can't remember

7. Your favorite drink? Pepsi

8. Your dream/goal? Happiness

9. What room are you in? Living room

10. Your hobby? Collecting autographs

11. Your fear? Being alone

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Retired

13. Where were you last night? In bed

14. Something you aren't? Self-confident

15. Muffins? Yes

16. Wish list item? New car

17. Where did you grow up? Deepest Scarberia (Scarborough, Ontario)

18. Last thing you did? Ate

19. What are you wearing? Work clothes

20. Your TV? 27"

21. Your pets? Cats and Dog

22. Your friends? The best

23. Your life? Great

24. Your mood? Not sure

25. Missing someone? Usually

26. Vehicle? Buick Century

27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes

28. Your favorite store? Chapters

29. Your favorite color? Blue and Green

30. When was the last time you laughed? Last Night

31. Last time you cried? A while ago

32. Your best friend? Cara(my love), Barry and Sandy

33. One place that I go over and over? The bathroom

34. One person who emails me regularly? Barry

35. Favorite place to eat? Out

Y2K? Y2 Lame...

Do you remember what you were doing 10 years ago? Remember all the hype? All the planes were going to fall out of the sky, there was going to be blackouts, people were buying bottled water like crazy,we were all going to be stranded in elevators and everyone's computer was going to crash. Well, many us our still here and nothing happened because of Y2K. By the way, what was so hard about saying 2000 instead of Y2K? Another dumb abbreviation. Alas, like my friend Sandy, I digress. :)
After the 9/11 attack, people in New York and other major cities were afraid to go to the movies, go shopping, ride public transit, and even to step across their front door. While we did have a major blackout, and the attacks gave more people reason to be afraid, most of the fears were unfounded. It seems like every few years, the media finds some new thing to over hype, and to install what I call a controlled panic, in everyone. About 5 years ago it was SARS. This year it was H1N1. And also this year, although I'm sure it will increase as the time draws nearer, is the 2012 conspiracy. This is when the world is supposed to end, boys and girls. The end of the Mayan calender. Doom and Gloom. Death and Destruction. The End of Everything. The Boogie Man is coming. Hubba hubba hubba, who can you trust?
Yourself and your loved ones. Make up your own mind when you are observing the news. Believe in yourself and your own instincts. Don't believe everything you hear. All this crap brings negativity into your life and makes you stress out and worry for no reason. Believe in yourself, your family and friends and in love. We will all still be here enjoying our lives, despite the hype. And with that, here's a couple of great songs that make me feel good, and it's what life should be all about. I want to wish everyone a safe, happy and loving New Year.

Some Memories

Here is a great clip of a great band. The Arrows featuring the late, great Earl Seymour on sax. He was an amazing musician, and I had the pleasure of seeing him play back in the late '80's or early '90's. Can't remember when, but I do remember the show. Lido's down in Toronto's Beaches district. Earl played with many local bands like The Kings, Glass Tiger, Red Rider, Holly Cole, Teenage Head to name a few. And he also played with Blood,Sweat and Tears, as well as a great local band called "The Men from UNCLE". RIP Earl. I wish I could see you play again. This one's for you B.

Independance Day

Often we have things bothering us. A bad relationship, a crummy job, no direction in your life or a boatload of other problems. The key to making a change is to recognize something that is not working in your life and to try and make it better. This takes a lot of soul searching and many times, it is a very hard decision to make. This is a concept I have been thinking about for the last couple of years or so. It is all about achieving your Independance Day. Once you have figured out the problem in your life, and are ready to move on, that is your Independance Day. This can happen at various points in our life. You could have lots of Independance Days or just one. Mine happens to be January 26, 2007. January 26, 2007 happens to be the day I met my soul mate and started my new life. This is the life that I and my partner deserved and wanted for a long time. There are also lots of small ones along the way as well. But your Independance Day doesn't have to be a major event. Whether it is getting fit, losing weight, quittting smoking, changing your job, ending or starting a relationship, or changing a life situation, acheiving your Independance Day(s) is something worth striving for and accomplishing. Plus it makes you feel good. Speaking of which, here is a great video that makes me feel good, it just happens to be Martina McBride's song "Independance Day". She is singing a duet with my favorite female singer Pat Benatar. Just listen to Pat belt out the chorus. What an awesome singer she is. Enjoy everyone and here is to your Independance Day. Cheers!!

Change....

Most times when something is not right in our lives, Change is good. If it is your attitude, your job, your living situation, feeling negative about yourself, then you have to recognize what is not working for you and make that your goal. If it is a bad habit, then do something new long enough to become a new habit. The steps to bring about a change in your life are:

Self Recognition
Realization of Self Worth
A good self-image, or wanting a good self-image
Look in the mirror realistically (looking at yourself)
Reframing your priorities
Recognizing warning signs/patterns
Hard work and effort
Insight
Wanting to change, not doing it because someone told you to

It also starts with how we look at things and how we phrase things. Instead of saying "I hate when you do that" try to make it positive and constructive instead of argumentative. Try something like "It really makes me angry when you do that and this is why I feel this way". Maybe in not so many words, but you get the general idea. It is ok to be angry. It is a normal, healthy emotion just like being happy or sad. The trick is to realize what's coming and recognize the warning signs. Our bodies actually go through physical changes when anger is upon us. Blood pressure rises, we get short of breath, our voices rise, some people shake or cry. The anger inside of you is like a volcano getting ready to erupt. When you can realize what is happening then you can change your reaction and use your emotions constructively.
Communication with yourself and with others is also the key to change and improving your life. Sometimes it takes some pressure and suggestions from the main people in our lives. Sometimes it takes an ultimatum. Or an introspective look at ourselves and to realize things are not working in our lives. If you want to change bad enough, be positive, stay tough on yourself, persevere and work hard. The good things you are striving for will come into your life.