So what's wrong with the number 42? Nothing, if you have 42 jelly beans. Or if you find 42 dollars in your pocket. It is also Jackie Robinson's uniform number. And my mother was born in 1942. What's my problem with this number? October 29 was my 42nd birthday. Bah Humbug. I tend to look at my birthday as a non-event. In reality, it is my annual "What is wrong with my life" rant.
It usually starts off with "I don't feel I've done anything worthwhile with my life. I'm (insert appropriate age here) years old......" Blah blah blah. Generally, it takes someone a lot prettier and a hell of a lot smarter than me to give me a kick in the ass.
For a long time, my career, or lack thereof, has been a main focus. I've always felt like I should be doing something of importance. It seems more and more during the last 8 or 9 years or so, that I have felt that way. I never realized that I would need a job to define me, or to feel complete. Or to feel that would make my life mean something. A good friend told me that your job is not the be all and end all of who you are. He mentioned that his job is important, but in his words "I'm a mail-room manager, not a heartsurgeon." I think the key to everything is trying to find what you can live with and what is tolerable. Very few people are working in their dream jobs. But I'm having a hard time finding what's "missing" in my life. I have two great kids with another one on the way. I have a beautiful, loving partner who puts up with my crap. My parents and grandmother are still alive. I am taking an anger management course to help me understand and deal with my anger. I have a decent place to live. I have 2 cats and dog who are available to the lowest bidder (just kidding, I think....)
I don't feel that I am lacking in religious views, although I don't think that attending an organized service is for me.....
So I'm putting it out there, what is missing from my life?