Thursday, September 10, 2009

Getting caught up

So I spent a few days with my Mom and Dad. It was nice to have a break, spent some extra time with my daughter. I had to visit my family doctor, get some immunization shots for school this month. I still have to go back next week, and stay for a couple of days.
I decided to go and visit my Grandfather at the cemetary, since I hadn't been there for awhile. As I was standing there for a few minutes, gazing upon his marker in the Memorial Wall, I happened to notice a pot of flowers at my feet. Someone visited one of their loved ones who had passed, obviously. As I looked up from the flowers, I noticed another marker and it was someone I knew, but I never knew that he had passed away in 2008. I had to think for a bit, first to get over the shock, and then to figure out if it really was the same person. Doing the quick math, I realized it was the same person. It was the son of my former boss. And he was 22 years old. I was very upset by this, as my old boss and his wife are great people. I quickly phoned my former place of employment, and spoke to the receptionist who is a friend of mine and she told me the story. It turned out that he had a brain tumor and by the time it was discovered, not much could be done about it. She told me that she thought I knew about it, but nobody told me and I had been a my former work a few times in 2008. But then I guess, it's not exactly the way to start off a conversation. "By the way guess who died...". I felt really bad, and wasn't sure if I was able to go and visit my boss. I wouldn't know what to say now, I thought about sending a card, but it has been over a year now, I don't want to open any wounds. I know how I would feel if it was one of my children. Actually I don't. But I'm not sure I would want to be reminded of it, after a year, regardless if it was well-meaning. I guess you should be thankful for every single day, and if you have children, love and cherish them, and be thankful for all the joy in your life. It must be horrible for a parent to have to bury your child.


  1. Life sure knows when to sneak up and smack you in the face. I'm really sorry to hear about this. It's hard enough when people are old and die but when they're so young ...
    I know you never get over the death of a child ... how could you ... but perhaps enough time has passed and he'd appreciate hearing from you. But only you can make that decision.
    Take care Tony.

  2. Yeah maybe so. I have to contemplate that for a while, and figure out how I'm going to deal with it. I probably will because we always got along really well, and there was no hard feelings or anything when I left there.

  3. Offering condolences to someone who's lost a loved one has always been a very difficult thing for me. But I'm sure he'd appreciate your words, and to know he's thought of.

    And you're right, we have to appreciate everyone and everything around us because it could be taken at any time.